Was That Really Part of Your Plan?
by BeccyBr00tal
Summary: DISCONTINUED. I WILL BE STARTING A NEW ONE SOON... Phanfiction about AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire. I'm awful at summaries but here goes: After being dumped by his girlfriend and accused of being unfaithful, Dan admits his feelings for his ebony-haired best friend. What he doesn't know is that Phil shares those feelings.
1. I'm not being unfaithful!

I'm sat on the black, leather sofa, remote controller poised in the air, and leaning precariously close to the edge of the seat, when the door to our apartment slams.

"Dan?" I call over the sounds emerging from Sonic 4.

He slumps into the sitting area, shoulders hunched and hair damn from braving the typical Manchester weather. Kicking off his shoes, Dan falls onto the sofa besides me, elbows resting on his knees and head buried in his hands.

"Hey... What's wrong?" I pause Sonic, quite worried because Dan's never this unhappy usually. Maybe I'm a little too worried, and maybe that shows a bit too much, but I am genuinely concerned about my best friends well-being... there's nothing weird about that, right? I may have a _slight_ crush on Dan, but it's not like he'd ever notice someone as boring as me...

"Paige"

As Dan grumbles out the word from between his tanned fingers, I feel my stomach tighten in annoyance at the mention of Dan's supposedly long-term girlfriend.

He sits up and leans back, pinching the bridge of his nose and saying, "I can't help i... I mean, I _never _argue with people- you know that- but there's something about her... she just drives me insane! Oh, and another thing, she keeps trying to make a move on me. I know this sounds awful, Phil, but I am just not _comfortable_ about doing that with _her_." He groans loudly, "Oh, God, what the hell am I going to do?"

I bite my lip as his eyes find mine. The mention of Paige always manages to drag a heavy, dark cloud over the apartments. Whenever she shouts at Dan, or hurts him with her mindless words, or even makes him feel uncomfortable, I have to muster all my self control in an attempt to not go straight to her house and throttle her, even if she _is _a girl.

"Maybe it's time you two took a bit of a break?" I suggest half-heartedly, already sure of what his answer will be. I drop the controller and turn to face my friend. I lean against the arm of the sofa, folding my legs up beneath me.

We have this conversation at least once a week, and every time we have it, Dan will reply to my hopeful suggestion with something like-

"Hmm... I don't know, really, Phil... It's just... well, I don't think I could ever just _ditch_ her..." Dan cuts across my thought process.

There we have it.

"I see..." I mutter.

He frowns, then sighs in a disheartening way, looking straight at me.

"I sometimes feel like I'm with the wrong person, Philly..." He says, almost to himself but just loud enough for me to hear, "I mean, I don't _love_ her... I feel like I'm hiding something"

He sighs loudly when I don't respond, "I'll make some tea" He gets to his feet and walks towards the kitchen area, zipping up his jacket.

I nod in approvement.

So yes, I am in love with my best friend. It has it's constant heartache, what with the fact that Dan's with Paige and whenever I see her I feel a sharp stab of envy somewhere in the pit of my chest, but it has its ups, too.

"Want to watch a film tonight?" Dan calls over the boiling of the kettle, "I was supposed to be seeing Paige but... hmm... anyway, you can choose if you like"

"That'd be great!" I try not to sound too over enthusiastic, "How about... well, actually, this is going to sound silly so I'll re-think..."

I pause and he smiles in my direction, "No, Phil... I said you could choose- so choose. Whatever you want, we'll watch it"

"I was going to say Up!," I say.

"That'll be great" He smiles reassuringly as he pours the tea.

Just as we're searching for up, there's a buzz coming from the apartment door. Dan sighs heavily, gets to his feet and strolls over to the receiver, lifting it up and granting access to the person without finding out their identity.

The door swings open and Paige's perfect form is revealed. With gorgeous tumbling blonde curls and curves any girl would die for, she's all dressed up in a little back number. Her face turns from normal to shock at Dan's slovenly appearance and then finally into fury.

"What the _hell_, Daniel?" She exclaims, "We are supposed to be going out to dinner!"

"Oh..." Dan frowns.

She sighs heavily, "Look, darling. I'll give you one last chance to prove to me that-"

"Actually, Paige," Dan quickly cuts across her, " I think maybe we should call it all quits for a while... I've been thinking lately and-"

"I will not allow you to break up with me!" She exclaims, raising her eyebrows so high that they disappear into her corn coloured fringe.

"I just think that maybe we-"

"There's someone else!" She suddenly cries, throwing her hands above her head, "Of fucking course! I'm so stupid! Who is she?!"

Dan just stares at her as if she's opened a door into his mind.

"You make me sick, Daniel Howell!" She roars, her blue eyes watering up more from rage than despair.

I am still sat on the rug, quietly surveying the scene with scared eyes.

"Phillip!" She suddenly addresses me and I flinch, "Who the hell is this girl he's been seeing?"

"I... have no idea" I respond quietly, still picking through the DVD's, "Umm, look, Paige... I'd rather not get involved in this..."

"You're all the same!" She explodes and slams out of the room, making the doorframe rattle and the walls shake.

"God..." Dan observes, plonking himself back onto the floor next to me and taking a gulp of his tea, "I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders!"

At that point, I find our chosen DVD and hold it up for his inspection, waving it proudly in the air and smiling shyly.

"You found it" He grins.

Two hours later, at quarter to eleven, we're both sprawled across the sofa and munching on chocolate popcorn.

Dan sighs softly, scooting up closer to me so that I can feel his breathe on my cheek. I stare straight ahead at the TV as he reaches forward for the popcorn bowl.

Instead of grabbing a handful, Dan lifts up the bowl and places it beside my feet.

Then his head manages to find my lap.

I freeze, completely confused and unsure of how to react. Before I make a complete idiot out of myself by stroking my fingers through his hair or something, I decide to play safe and ask a question regarding today's events.

"So... er... who's this other girl you're seeing, then?" I ask quietly.

Dan nestles his head, which is facing towards the TV, further into my lap, his ear just a few nanometres away from my crotch. My whole body stiffens and I focus on my breathing... _In through the nose, out through the mouth..._ closing my eyes for a second in an attempt to block out how close he was to my penis and trying my best not to get an involuntary erection.

"Well..." he pops two pieces of popcorn into his mouth and it seems like an age before he manages to put me out of my misery by providing an answer, "It's not a girl, actually2

"So there's no one else?" I ask.

"I..." He bites his lip, looking incredibly cute.

Suddenly, his words sink in... He said it _wasn't a girl_... So does that mean it's a-

"It's a boy, if you must know" He mutters, "but he's straight" He rolls his head so that he's no staring up at me, the dimmed light making his brown eyes stunning.

"Oh" Is all I can say.

"And besides, even if he _was _gay, or at least bi, which he's not, he'd never go for someone like me. He's gorgeous and slim and perfect, with these beautiful big blue eyes and the most amazing laugh, I..."

His eyes seem to mist over as he imagines this wonderous boy, and I can feel a twinge I've never felt before eating away at me, near my heart. He strokes my upper leg absently with his index finger.

'_Dan's gay', _My thoughts tell me_, 'But he doesn't want you.'_

I suddenly remove Dan's head from my knees, getting to my feet just as the credits begin to roll.

"I'm going to bed" I tell him.

"Phil," Dan looks right at me, sitting up straight and serious, "I- I need to tell you something first. I can't go on without you knowing and you can kick me out of the apartment if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I just need to get it out because it's _killing me_, Phil..."

"Dan. Just tell me. What is it?"

"I- I'm in love with you"

* * *

**A/N: This is actually the first fan fic I've written that's going to become more than a one-shot. The rating will change as I progress, as there will probably be some more 'mature' content in later chapters...**

**Anyway, please tell me what you think, as any helpful criticism is welcome!**


	2. Pain, then gain, then a little more pain

"Wh-what?" I stare at Dan, completely dumbfounded as he stands before me, his face pained as he waits for my response.

"Well... Dan... I..." I have absolutely no idea what to say to him.

Out of all the ways I'd imagined this happening, none of my fantasies had gone remotely like this.

I continued to stare at him, biting my lip so hard that a metallic flavour tickles my tongue.

"Uh..." I try again.

"Look, Phil... honestly, it's fine," Dan speaks finally, "I'll go now. God, why did I have to fuck everything up?" He says this almost to himself.

"I'll come back for my clothes another time" He says, pushing past me and hiding his face by looking at the ground in the tense moments while he laces up his shoes.

"Dan... Don't go!" I call as the door opens, "I- I need to tell you-"

I'm cut off by the hard slamming of the front door.

'_Great, Phil,_' the voice inside my head mutters, as I stand there, completely rooted to the spot and in shock, '_You've really done it this time. Just when you had a huge chance at getting your life right for once, you blow it!'_

I refuse to cry though, even though everything's falling apart. I stand there, waiting for him to come back home to me, watching the darkened room in which I'm standing that is only it by the faint but bright lights of the always heavy traffic below the apartment window. The Christmas tree stands tall in the corner, almost taunting me about the fact that we'd made two pointless videos about it and now there would _be _no more videos.

How on earth could I log back into youtube and tell all the fans that there was no more '_Dan vs Phil'_ and '_Phil is not on fire'_ and no more best friends. How on earth would I ever be able to make a video saying that without breaking down? And what about myself? I had been forever awaiting this moment, then allowing it to fall like sand through the fists that I made...

My hands are tense at my sides, palms sweaty and body rigid. On the inside, I feel as if all my internal organs are caving in, all shutting down on themselves, giving in, one by one, slowly saying good-bye. Yet my heart is persistently beating, loud and scary in the otherwise silent room, reminding me of the reason that it beats... _him_, and that after all this, I would have to keep on living, I would have to walk alone, for the first time in almost seven years.

I eventually crawl across the floor and fall on top of the sofa, burying my face into Dan's red hoodie which he's left draped over the back of the sofa. For the first time in what seems like forever, I cave in on myself and _cry_.

For four days, I lie on that sofa, not eating, not sleeping and refusing to answer my phone, tweets or anything else that might remind me of him. I don't turn on the TV, just lie on the sofa, hugging the scent of his hoodie and smelling the ever fading fragrance of his cologne.

By the fifth day, I finally move. I get in the shower and I was, taking time to do my hair and praying, just as I had done every other day this week, that today might be the day when he came to collect his clothes so I could tell him how I felt.

After three hours of waiting on the sofa, I venture into Dan's room. His smell hits me like a bullet aimed right at my chest and I almost double over, but instead catch myself falling into his bed and snuggling into his duvet, breathing in his heady scent and pulling it up to cover my face and show only my legs.

"What the fuck?"

I wake up to the familiar sound of Dan's voice, and in my excitement forget where I am, sitting up so quickly that I suffer a minor head rush and have to lay back down for a second.

"Phil...?"

I sit up again to find Dan frozen in the door way, a bad already half full of his stuff. He looks just about as bad as I do, I suppose. His hair is getting curly due to days of showering and not straightening and his eyes carry huge bags.

"I'm just getting my things," He explains, beginning to pile some clothes into a bag and then turning to leave, "I'll catch you later"

"Dan! No! Not again!" I dive from the bed and lock my hands onto his shoulders, spinning him around to face me.

"Peej's putting me up for a few nights, then I'll be going home to my parents... And don't worry; no one knows anything about this. I'm getting back with Paige" He mutters, staring at his feet and refusing to look me in the eye.

My heart hits the floor and I swear it's like he's just stabbed me straight through the chest hen ripped out my ribcage, puncturing my lungs with every heavy blow and causing me to breathe in short, sharp gasps.

"No"

The word comes out on it's own accord, but a lot quieter that I would have liked, I grip tighter onto his shoulders.

"No way, Daniel Howell," I say, stronger, "You are never leaving me again. You can't go back to her! No!" I'm embarrassed to find hot tears brimming in my eyes, "And you want to know why? Because _I love you_. I love you so so much. More than anything. More than my family or my friends or the fans... Even more than I loved Simon!"

Despite himself, Dan looks up at me with confusion in his big, brown eyes, "...Simon?"

"Simon from the creepy sand!" I cry, "I'm sorry... I couldn't think of anything else to say and it was supposed to be serious but that was just plain stu-"

Dan bursts out laughing and it's contagious, because within a few minutes we're both laughing, collapsed in the doorway with his head nestled into my chest lovingly.

"Oh, Phil" He looks up at me, smiling, "Fancy planning out a video?"

"Yeah, okay" I reply, giving his hands a tight squeeze, "One more thing, though... What about Paige?"

* * *

**A/N: Due to the positive feedback, I have written the short if not brief chapter two and am not happy with it, so I'll probably jig about with it during this week.**

**On terms of chapter three, you should expect it sometime next week. (:**


	3. Chapter 3 part one

Forty eight hours, thirty seven screened phone calls from Paige and an update video for the fans later, and Dan and I are sitting out on the balcony, enveloped in the frosty Christmas air and sipping our hot coffee from our favourite mugs.

We've just finished decorating the Christmas tree, which sits directly behind us now, glittering in the dark room. It took roughly two whole days to construct and decorate, and another half hour to rescue Dan's demon, Damien, from behind the TV, where he's managed to fall and get tangled within the many, many wires.

"So... I was thinking..." I begin, as we watch the sleeping city below us, "How'd you feel about popping down to stay with my parents for a few days? We could travel down tomorrow afternoon and be back by the 21st"."

Dan grins, "Yep, I'd like to see your mum... might change my mind about whether I want her or you," He winks suggestively.

"Hey!" I shove him playfully and then let my arm drop so that it's draped around his shoulders.

He turns his head so that he's near my elbow, then nuzzles in lovingly, "Everything is great..." He murmurs, "Are you going to tell your parents about us?"

"Yeah, I am," I nod, "They'll be fine about it. Dad always used to say that he'd only accept me as being gay if it was with you." I laugh.

"Perfect," Dan smiles.

"Except Paige..." I don't mean to put a damper on the mood, but I feel as if the subject needs to be raised.

"Ugh," Dan sits up and stretches, "Phil, she hasn't called all day. She stopped calling after day one. She's long gone after I left her the answer phone message saying that it was over. It's over."

"Sorry..." I mumble, feeling pathetic and looking at my socks.

"Phillip Lester," Dan scrapes his chair around so that my arm falls from his shoulders and back to my side. He moves the chair so that he is right in front of me, his face close. He uses his index finger to raise my chin slightly so that I'm forced to look into his big, soft brown eyes.

"What?" My voice sound like that of a sorrowful child, but I am unable to help it.

"I love you," He leans closer yet, his forehead resting against mine, "You are my beautiful boyfriend and she is _nothing_, do you hear me?"

When I don't respond, he moves his finder from beneath my jaw and strokes my hair instead, at the nape of my neck, "I love you," He repeats in his beautifully rhythmic accent.

"I love you too" I almost whisper, trying to stare into his eyes, but feeling myself go cross-eyed instead, because he is so close to me.

We stay like that for a moment, and I feel as if he's going to kiss me for the first time ever... Out on this balcony with the sound of the 2am traffic and the music from clubs, the streetlamps not reaching us where we sit, but the lights of many office buildings and hotels and other apartment blocks illuminating his perfect face as he sits before me.

Instead, Dan leans back, then brushes his lips lightly across the top of my head.

"We'll make pancakes tomorrow ...of course using Delia's recipe... then we'll go to your mums," He tells me, smiling as he stands up and takes away my empty coffee mug, "Get some sleep."

* * *

**A/N: I felt truly awful for not updating in ages, or what seems like ages. So this is chapter three part one. There will be a part two as soon as I can be bothered to write it. I'm sorry I kept you waiting! I would like to say thank you to the lovely Ellie, who has turned out to be an awesome person and a really good Beta. And I'd like to say thanks to you guys for actually wanting to continue reading this mess that someone might call Phanfiction. Thank you! :3**

**-Beccy xx**


	4. Chapter 3 part two

Dan makes a huge show of cooking me pancakes the next morning. He sings his way around the kitchen, sliding around in his socks, and not allowing me to move from where I am perched on the breakfast bar stool.

"Please let me help?" I ask him for about the eighth time this morning, as he thoroughly manages to wreck the kitchen, flicking pancake mix onto every surface as he rapidly whisks with 'The Fork of Destiny'.

He'd woken up at eight today, even before me, and set about making breakfast loudly, waking me up with the clattering and banging that was emerging from the kitchen.

"Where's the ladle?" He asks, ignoring my attempts to offer my assistance.

"By the fridge... no, on that side... By the kettle, Dan..." I point towards the direction I'm describing, "-yep! That's the one"

He lifts up the ladle, strolls over, swaying his hips, and raps it hard against my knuckles where they're resting against the breakfast bar in front of me, my fists loosely balled.

He then proceeds to flip the pancake violently, nearly getting it stuck on the ceiling, and then slips it onto a plate which he then shoves in front of me, laden with lemon juice and too much sugar, and becoming increasingly soggy.

"Thank you" I smile appreciatively and slice it with my knife, popping the gooey mess into my mouth.

He watches me for a few seconds, then frowns when I swallow, "It looks awful"

"Shh, It's fine!" I tap his nose with the end of my fork.

An hour and a half later, we've packed some clothes, the camera, Lion and Lioness and some mysterious placenta Christmas cookies that Dan had made for my mum, and are sat together quietly on the train, surrounded by a loud family with a young, single mum and a sleeping old man.

The young woman keeps fluttering her eyeslashes at Dan, who seems oblivious. So I reach out and grab his hand, gently, and he looks suprised, but smiles all the same, giving my fingers a tight squeeze.

The woman gets off at the next stop, carting all of her children with her and giving me dirty looks, but I don't care. I have Dan and that's all that matters, now...

"Oh! Boys! We weren't expecting you o visit until at least after new year!" My mum cries, excitement flashing across her face as we all stand in the hallway, myself and Dan secured in a maternal embrace.

I let her fuss about with me, telling me I'm too skinny and flattening my hair into my eyes, then turning to Dan and giving him a kiss on the cheek, much to his enjoyment.

"Actually," I mumble, leaning close, "Me and Dan are... well, we're sort of together, now"

"You mean _together _together?" She asks me, still smiling.

"Er... yeah" Dan mutters, ducking his head.

"Well that's just great!" She exclaims, hugging us both again.

She then leans towards Dan, whispering into his ear, "I always knew he had a big crush on you"

"Hey!" I object, but she quickly shushes me, calling my father to help carry the bags up.

We tell my dad that we're together as we're climbing the stairs, and he very nearly falls down them, but soon recovers and congratulates us after dumping the bags inside my old room.

As Dan busies himself with setting up our camera equipment on my desk, I sit on the bed, quietly, just thinking...

It's rather strange being back home, in my old bedroom. This is where I met Dan for the first time. I had been crying that night, actually. Yet another of my girlfriends had dumped me because I was being 'too clingy'. I'd signed into my twitter account, and there it was, waiting for me- a message from someone named Danisnotonfire... That's where it all began, really.

We met up a while after that... and here we are now...

"Hey," Dan's gentle voice breaks me away from my thoughts, "You okay?"

He sits beside me on the bed, arms hanging awkwardly at his sides. He seems to notice this, and is hasty to drape one around my shoulders in a comforting manner.

"I'm good," I smile up at him and he pushes a piece of my dark hair out of my eyes, "Just... so many memories here, you know?"

"I know," He nods, then pushes himself backwards, so that he's against the headboard, leaning. He then beckons me to follow, and when I do, he muses, "It's nice being back"

I snuggle into his arms, the first real physical contact we've managed all day, and it feels good.

" 'Tis" I agree

"Phil?" He says suddenly.

"mmm?"

"You still have that black marker pen?"

"Yes... I-" I pause to think for a few seconds, "It's... in that drawer over there, why?"

Ignoring my question, he proceeds to retrieve it and then plants himself back down beside me, ordering me to lay back and close my eyes as he leans over me.

His breathe is quick and hesitant as I feel the cold, wetness of the marker press gently onto the tip of my nose, scribble a bit, then find its way to my cheek. He slides it across the bones there, three swipes on each side, then sits back after planting a wet kiss on my forehead, between my eyebrows.

"Did you just kiss my labella?" I ask him teasingly as he pushes a mirror in front of me.

"I did," He tells me as I look into the reflecting glass and discover cat whiskers drawn onto my face, "Just like old times"

* * *

**A/N: Firstly, I apologize for any errors, as I wanted to get it up as soon as possible and haven't been in touch with Ellie in a little while. Hopefully she will resume being the Beta of my work for future chapters. **

**Secondly, I would like to tell you all that I will be posting a chapter every Sunday, by 12am time, London. I hope you guys are okay with that, but I feel that I am unable to write at the speed I have been- it's just too much for me, what with school starting up again soon. I hope you understand (:**

**Thirdly, I would like to tell you that there most definitely ****_will _****be a sequel to this- I already have it all planned out, so I know exactly where I'm going with each chapter. **

** And finally, the chapters are going to be a lot longer in future, and not be messy like the last two were. The chapters will be longer, better set out and not in two parts. I apologize for how messy my work has been up until now.**

**Happy reading! Hope you enjoy this, fellow Phans!**

**-Beccy xx**


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